It’s two in the morning and Davie is standing under the bedroom doorway watching his wife sleep. He wants to know what fuels her. There was a time he was so sure of the contents of her soul that he would have wagered anything on it, now he wonders if he’s spent fourteen years chasing unidentified leaks and gaseous fumes.

My smile curls into an unattractive expression, my teeth protruding in the opening between my lips. Luke tugs the ends of his tatty t-shirt and curtsies. The ring stirs a sickening anxiety in the back of my throat, itching away. I down the rest of my pint in one to quell the discomfort.

100 WORD FILM REVIEWS / Bumblebee

The unseen villain in Bumblebee (which for the sake of our collective sanity we can call the only installment in the Transformers franchise) is Michael Bay who, in 1987, when the film takes place, was working his way up the Hollywood ladder. With Bay still fetching coffee for Spielberg, director Travis Knight and star Hailee Steinfeld are free to have as much fun as possible with this admittedly silly concept, a concept that works considerably better when you can tell what's happening on screen. After all, a little fun was all 80’s kids ever wanted out  of these movies.

100 WORD FILM REVIEWS / Aquaman

Aquaman drowns a bit under the weight of its own spectacle, and there were moments when I found myself needing sonar to find one character amidst a screen of CGI fish. But if you’ve always wanted to see Patrick Wilson riding a battle shark, hop in – the water’s fine. The Atlantis mythology is dense, and partly magical, partly silly. But it’s an agreeable silliness, to which Jason Momoa and Amber Heard bring a boatload of earnestness and charm, especially in their lower key scenes together. Plus there’s Nicole Kidman eating a pet goldfish right out of its tank.

Buried beneath one of the most shockingly bad Hollywood movies in years is one of Steve Carell’s best performances. Welcome to Marwen has a lot of good people behind it. Co-screenwriter Caroline Thompson has a track record which includes The Nightmare Before Christmas, Edward Scissorhands, and the 1993 version of Secret Garden. Robert Zemeckis, who co-wrote and directed the movie, is justifiably considered a legend. Yet somehow, despite the odds, Welcome to Marwen is one of the most depressingly bad movies in recent memory. It’s ineptitude on virtually every level is almost surreal. This thought is made all the worse by the realization that it’s one of the dullest movies in recent memory, as well.