So what do you do if you wake up and realize that the gently marinated and care fully crafted and harmoniously preserved memory of the you in your mind’s mirror first formed over twenty years ago, the you that was your most perfected self and doing the best impression of you that you have ever done, the you that you heretofore looked back on wistfully that existed before the stock market crashes and the psychotic ex and the security pat-downs and the parent-teacher meetings and the terrorism and the internet (parental controls, password changes, and screen pop-ups ‘oh my!’)…
“Who woulda thought the desert be this fucking cold?” He tried to raise his shoulders to his ears, but they kept shivering down. It hurt to look at the stars, they were so blistered white and scattered.
We wade in the middle of the still blue waters of Capo Caccia. Vivienne, who has taken a break from preparing lunch, tells me the story of the island’s most notorious brothers. She and her husband George have lived on their yacht in Bosa for the past fifteen years, and they have taken us out, Nick and me and three other couples, to spend the day exploring the island’s surrounding caves and capes. We are in unchartered territory.
oh, blundering human,
tripping forward,
turn around—
tread your life’s labyrinth
back to the beginning
A podcast on spirituality & religion, hosted by the Founding Editor of Drunk Monkeys. This episode features an interview with Scott Waldyn of Literary Orphans.
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The Filmcast crew and special guest, filmmaker Jonathan Hammond, dig into Darren Aronofsky's surreal allegory Mother! and whether or not the Muppets are intrinsically racist. No, seriously.
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Steven Soderbergh returns to the big screen with the underwhelming Logan Lucky. We dig into that and other redneck exploitation movies on the latest episode of Drunk Monkeys Radio!
We here at Drunk Monkeys read a lot of submissions that are about boning. Or penises. Or big, heaving breasts. I know you know this because I have written about it before. I have begged you not to send us these things, but y’all can’t stop writing about cock. Lust is your vice; patience is my virtue (sometimes).
Alex Schumacher on the cycle of disgust and deliverance in creation in his latest comic for Drunk Monkeys.
It was a summer that had snuck up on us. All of a sudden, condensation appeared against gin glasses and kept skirts slicked to tanned thighs. We would go on parties every other evening, hanging over balconies on Suffolk or Sullivan, catching cool breezes. We would hold cigarettes to our sunburnt lips, lighting them with crisp folds of cash as we sunk into the bursts of music floating up from the second floor.
My son is dead and it’s your fault, Mr. Clark. Yours and your father’s.
That’s what Rosa wants to say as she stands in front of Richard Clark’s desk, bringing Richard Clark his coffee, looking at Richard Clark’s handsome face and the measured striations of gray in his hair.
I have never slaughtered a pig.
My hands, though slathered with a sheen
Of melted flesh, are swiftly cleaned
With a simple paper towel.
Emberly and Sahar only met in the confines of a bedroom; not for sex, but for more intimate affairs. They met for some time after enough nights of fooling around in a car, but the more time they spent together, the sexual tension stripped itself gave way to movie nights and hair brushing. Together, they were a cute couple, but the proximity was soon unwelcome.
The cottonwood trees watch. Whisper. A
lyrical business, theirs. Bored by the Wind
River, they turn toward the termite-nibbled
motel.
The Pacific begs me to swim away, anything
to keep us from strangling each other
on the boardwalk. The Freakshow
is where our love belongs, a two-headed
oddity feasting on dust and bone
The call was certain and unwavering.
I felt pulled to volunteer at a local homeless shelter. My friends and family started to wonder what I was doing because it started so randomly. I was always honest as to my intentions - to various degrees.
This is how pleasure goes marauding
thinking twenty was happy
thinking faces you won’t believe
wrapped in a smell of hand
When she reeked of distraction, a dozen fools
set out to decant her childhood.
You work with doll pieces and cigar
boxes. Mirrors reflect limbs
suspended on toothpicks.
At the end of winter, I was looking to blow some money on something fragile and undemanding. I bought the Instant Back with my Diana camera because I knew no one had patience on St Denis street after 6pm. I wanted to be as happy as the faces on the instax mini fujifilm, rainbows and bears screwing without prejudice inside my hair. I wanted that. You said, Lomography is a scam run by straight, white, billionaire men and I said, how me something that isn’t.