Photo by Laura Briedis on Unsplash
Hello friends,
The name of this issue comes from the Foxy Shazam song of the same name. I always liked this song, because I used to feel this way about myself. I only ever started becoming an actualized person when I stopped trying to hide my heart in a forest glade.
What is love?
For me it's:
The way my daughter only wants me to draw Peppa Pig, over and over and over, all day. Being in a group chat that sends each other wrestling memes. When my husband laughs his loud, braying laugh that I loved within ten minutes of meeting him. Brian M. sending me horoscopes every Sunday. When my son spends the night watching tv with us. Chris and Matt listening to my Succession rants after successfully campaigning for me to watch it (and Tom, lovingly kissing Greg on the forehead). Sitting in a car at the drive in with Brian C. Holding my nieces for a moment before I leave Massachusetts. Kevin messaging me links to bootleg band sweaters he knows I'll like. Sitting in a freezing cold guitar shop with Jack for 6 hours, and watching Marc Maron in GLOW when I'm not in MA because Marc reminds me of him. Sharing dinner with my neighbors. Writing "I think of you so often you have no idea" on a card and dropping it in the mail.
It's just simple things every day that leave impressions on my heart. It's being alive after everything I've ever experienced fought hard for me not to be. It's being here, writing this, and knowing you're reading it. It's every feature in this issue, and every issue before and every issue after.
Recently I watched the Daisy Brown series on YouTube, an ARG from a few years back that really made an impression on me. In a follow up video, Julia Dapper, the creator of the serious, said that she beloved it was ultimately about "the horror of realizing you're worthy of forgiveness". This stuck with me, too.
In a way, aren't we all just little Kendall Roys, bumbling through life with the desire to be good and the inability to actually follow through? Or living with a monster that slowly grows larger and hungrier as time slips by?
This Valentine's Day, I would love for you to think about love. What is love, to you? Let me know. And I would love for you to think about the things you haven't forgiven yourself for, and forgive yourself. Be your own L to the OG. Play like a pro. Life is too short to not crush that monster under your boot and run.
We are still open for submissions, especially pop culture. We will be open until 2/28.
Thank you for your continued support and love.
Always,
Kolleen
