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DRUNK MONKEYS IS A Literary Magazine and Film Blog founded in 2011 featuring short stories, flash fiction, poetry, film articles, movie reviews, and more

Editor-in-chief KOLLEEN CARNEY-HOEPFNEr

managing editor

chris pruitt

founding editor matthew guerrero

One Perfect Episode / Dexter: "Seeing Red" / Seth Borkowski

If I ever murdered someone, which I promise I haven’t, the last person on Earth I’d want on my case would be Sargeant “I could kill a middle-of-the-pack raptor/rabid kangaroo with my motherfuckin bare hands” Doakes.  Doakes is what you’d want your personal trainer to look like or your local bar’s bouncer assigned to remove an unruly patron.  I imagine he’d make a great boyfriend.  He’d kick any guy's ass that looked at me the wrong way.  No offense to my wife, I’m sure she would try her best, but you know - she’s just not Doakes.  So, when Doakes walked into a crime scene and damn near shit his pants, it was clear season 1, episode 10 of Dexter was only beginning. 

Miami Metro received a package with a hotel room key in a jar of blood.  Not your typical amazon delivery, but the moment was unexpectedly light.  Dexter cracked jokes (oh, Dexter!) before Captain Maria La Guerta announced that show and tell was over.  Party pooper I know, but if there was ever a televised demonstration of artistic “slow playing” this was it. 

Doakes and sergeant Deborah Morgan or Deb, Dexter’s sister and coworker, were the first to walk into the corresponding hotel room and as viewers, we only saw their reactions. Doakes freaked out, calling dispatch, “I need uniformed back-up, forensics - fuck it, just send everybody out!”  I was salivating at this point knowing this stunt was from none other than the ice truck killer— a man who had been playing games with Dexter all season.  

Now, let's not forget the spiderweb the ice truck killer had constructed.  He was dating Dexter’s sister.  He shared steaks with Dexter at his home.  This guy was slowly seducing the Morgans while murdering across Miami.  The build-up was almost too much to handle.  I didn’t know what was about to happen or what puzzle the ITK (sweet nickname for the ice truck killer I invented) left inside that hotel room, but thankfully I remained conscious. 

When Dexter entered the hotel room, he immediately collapsed into puddles of blood.  A shocking reaction from the always cool Dexter as he simultaneously saw visions of a bloody baby screaming, “Mommy!”. Who the fuck would leave their baby in a pool of blood and why did this negligence make for such damn good TV? 

I’ll tell you why— because Doakes and Dexter, my pantheon of immortality and genius, were shook for the first time in their collective lives. 

The episode perfectly meshes storylines with Dexter's girlfriend Rita and her custody issues with, you guessed it, her physically abusive, drug addicted ex-boyfriend, Paul.  Paul and Rita share two kids and after assaulting Rita, the prick plays victim and it works.  

Soon enough we find Dexter, Rita, Paul and the children together and Paul gets right in Dexter’s face, threatening him. 

In a flash, Dexter smacks Paul with a pan, knocking him unconscious.  It was a Rachael Ray pan too, so you knew he was serious as they are simply delightful to cook with. 

Still, the bludgeon to the head is a truly orgasmic, ‘justice is served’ moment for us viewers, no different than the heroism of Air Bud catching a touchdown.  Dexter drags Paul out of the kitchen, takes him home and puts a heroin needle in his arm.  Hey, who doesn’t dig a good party?  However, it’s no party for Paul, who's out on parole and suddenly, he’s back in prison. What is it they say in the old country again?  Ah yes, “Adios shithead!” 

Dexter returns to the scene of the crime to try and understand the truth; to face the demons of his repressed memories and it turns out those memories are that of his Mother being sawed alive. 

Later in the season we would come to learn that ITK, Dexter’s older brother, (WTF!) wanted him to see the truth.  He was with Dexter when the murder occured and he had grown up just as damaged as Dexter.  Except, Dexter was adopted and never told about his own brother.  No, the crime wasn’t solved, ITK was too smooth for that, but the seed was planted for the Serena and Venus Williams of serial killers to unite. 

I first watched Dexter in high school and every morning when my best friend Adam would pick me up I’d beg him to watch.  That was 16 years ago and I still think about Season 1, episode 10 to this day.  So, I implore you reader— don’t be like my friend Adam.  Watch this show because as this perfect episode came to a wrap, the captivating journey of Dexter Morgan was only beginning. 


Seth Borkowski is a NYC based writer, comic and carb lover with a masters in psychology and a fascination for all things paranormal. Check out his latest on twitter @seth_borkowski

POETRY / That Morning in Spring / Becca Rose Hall

POETRY / I can only promise you water / Nicole Callräm

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