What was the first lie?
Do you remember?
Being told your neighbors
were bad?
your government bloated?
That your hair or your teeth
or your face was wrong?
Was it when they told you to save your tears
because we don’t need them up here?
What was the second lie?
Or the third?
Is it screaming that you hate everyone in this house?
Is it the food we cannot swallow
our stomachs churning hot and wet
each night as we rise and walk
these empty halls
asking how
when we should be saying
of course.
Or was the first lie
the system?
The innate belief
that we are good
that we can do anything
this fat rotten American Dream™
spit forth from our blue televisions
and our little phones,
as we pretend are history
is not pain and blood and misery,
as we pretend that we can do anything
as long as we will it
and want it
as long as we fight for it and need it
and go on television and demand it
and fly in our big planes
and talk about our big plans
until we have the highest office in the nation
because we wanted it more
because we lied more
because we stalked on that stage
crowding up against that woman
because we cheated more.
What was the first lie?
Can you even remember anymore?
Ally Malinenko is the author of the poetry books The Wanting Bone, How To Be An American and Better Luck Next Year as well as the novel This Is Sarah.
He made it possible. He was formerly a fabulist.
He was faceless, but he was ugly, graceless
and he made everything disappear.
aligning
as fingers
deftly dance
on checkered
smooth plastic
disco stage
Adam’s countenance: beer cask-heavy
his eyes: glazed shallots
his smile: a split itself
Now take away the need
for moisture and the deteriorating
qualities of autumn. The veins
and stems will release as well.
Take away the release. Take
away the seasons.
When Taylor Swift was at the gym in Japan
she watched the muscled back of a man
moving up and down a heavy machine
made by other heavy machines for men.
of spontaneous human combustion,
of pictures with the Cherry Hill Mall Santa,
of a stapler after getting my wrist stuck to my teacher’s green bulletin board,
and on the tv
a drag queen
sharing her recipe
for sun tea
asks us if we want to
watch her take a break
and we take a break
Honeywell closed their Minnesota plant quietly
and the addition of warning stickers on album covers
would save the children along with D.A.R.E., Nancy
and Tipper directing the conversation, for some reason.
I read, I traveled, I, Lina, thief’s daughter, a discarded toy by the campfire
at night, my planets – burned by sparks,
burned by coincidences, in my eyelashes – stalagmites of ashes.
Because Phil Collins is for fools and old ladies.
Because the ocean’s too wide a body of water
for a commando to cross alone. Because gentlemen
never kiss and tell, and soldiers never share
their kill count. Because you teach the meaning
of words like ‘amorous’ and ‘varnish’ and ‘leave.’