TV Recap: Glee “Mash Off”

Okay. Well. Since I’m a glass half-full kinda guy, let’s talk about those last five minutes first. Santana learns she’s been inadvertently outed publicly after goading an angry Finn into calling her a cowardly lesbian. Leaving aside Schu and Sue’s decision to surprise Santana with a tape of the commercial for maximum impact instead of just telling her what happened, the scene itself was very effective and deeply sad. Santana has reason to believe that her parents will be none-too thrilled and it will be interesting to see how that plays out when we finally meet them. Finn’s actual decision to do this too, was an example of  rare bit of moral ambiguity, the kind we almost never see on Glee.

On the one hand, outing a high schooler is unspeakably shitty, and in no way compares to her comments on his appearance, nor her totally bizarre insistence on calling him “fat”. But on the other, Finn’s a high school boy who’s been taking Santana’s shit for literally years, and he finally just blew his top. I also believe him when he stated his belief that the whole school already knew and he wasn’t revealing any big secret. But of course, that wasn’t really true. To Finn, it was not that big a deal because he isn’t gay himself and doesn’t know what that feeling and fear of being outed is like  and probably thinks all parents are as supportive as Super Dad Burt Hummel. Both kids acted inappropriately and I can see both sides. That’s good storytelling.Also awesome? The Adele mash-up, and Mercedes and Santana’s singing. Huge props to Naya Rivera, for her incredibly moving singing that looked like she was literally going to start crying at any moment.

 

And now we move onto the other half of the glass: Specifically, Sue’s fucking idiotic “attack” ads which accuse Burt of having a baboon heart and marrying a donkey and instead of getting her laughed out of politics, these “attacks” are actually somehow helping Sue’s campaign. I mean, I know that many politicians are idiots and politics are a dirty business, but this silliness is a bridge too far. Why not have Sue do attack ads where she “worries” about Burt’s heart giving out? Or hell, maybe accuse him of ripping people off at his mechanic shop. Something with the slightest whiff of believability. Especially when this farce storyline is going to lead us directly into Santana’s forced coming out.

Which brings us to: the student election. First, the kids have a good old fashioned game of dodgeball, which is all fun and singing and dancing until suddenly, randomly, it’s not, and the girls all pelt that poor leprechaun kid with fifty balls and make his nose bleed.  I mean, you know you’ve hit rock bottom when Kurt Hummel is racing to your defense.

And then we amp up the Glee goo factor up to eleven with the campaign speeches, with Kurt’s widdle lower lip quivering in righteous indignation about the evils of dodgeball, and promising to ban it once he becomes Student President, because he apparently believes Student Presidents have actual power, and because he has a persecution complex the size of Ohio. (Probably not that interesting, but when I was growing up, the kids at our school for some reason called it Slaughterball. And it was fucking fun). And then Rachel feels bad for competing against Saint Kurt, because that’s inherently wrong or something, so she quits the race.

Is it as horrible and embarrassing as the time the deaf kids signed “Imagine” or as the time when Burt and Carol got married and everyone present used this blessed event as an opportunity to ignore the couple and  on and on about how awesome Kurt was, culminating in Finn blowing him on the dance floor? No, not quite. But close. Why do they always make Chris Colfer do this shit?

What am I forgetting? Oh yeah, Quinn’s fifth personality transplant is this scheming chick who is trying to get Shelby declared an unfit mother so she can get her child back. But that’s been thwarted by Puck’s affair and the fact that he blabbed all. And just to be sure the stakes aren’t too high, the show lets us know that Puck is 18, so now we know that even when they’re eventually caught, Shelby will only lose her job, and not her freedom or baby. And since Mark Salling looks like he’s pushing thirty, it’s pretty difficult to suspend the proper amount of disbelief, anyway. So look for Quinn to spitefully reveal the affair sometime soon and Shelby and child leaving the Glee-verse and Puck hating Quinn for it. And then Kurt will try to ban adoptions or something.


Ryan Roach lives in Studio City and suffers through traffic indignities on a daily basis. He also has a cool movie blog: http://afistop100moviesreviewed.blogspot.com/