Days roll by like train track earthquakes
on rusty nail bridges
& I am stuck in my head
as though somebody
had locked the door behind me
the moment I stepped in.
I created with my own two hands
a world to live in that is not this one.
if you could see everything that I’ve created
you’d rescue me from the darkness
you’d swallow my thoughts
you don’t exist…..
you are a ghost on
White lined paper
I am creating your world too
I am creating you.
with sharpened words
with sharpened pencil
In this world that I’ve created
you are perfect
but I am not
nor will I ever be
burning a candle on a reality plane
I step into the light and swallow whatever
thoughts come rolling in, but I am lost.
I am without maps.
I am a whale caught in a net
I am the rolling tides
I am on Earth
but my mind is out on some exploration
on some ocean we forgot to explore
My father sexually abused me.
When I got married,
I hyphenated my name.
No one questioned it at the time.
But in the middle of my parents’ late divorce,
everyone wants to know about names.
i was depressed,
and i wanted
to take a
you said you'd join me—
didn't mean i wanted
netflix and chill,
it happened before words came
to tell me how to feel about it
newly connected neurons torn apart
forever firing blanks into the microbiological air