page contents

Male-Pattern Badness
William Lessard

male-pattern badness      did you see me me take a picture of me     walk on the beach to take picture walking on the beach      could reach 100 likes      like male-pattern badness bring me the password      72 virgin virgins like Amber Alert Amber     paradise by the modem light      is what's for dinner is what's for forever trending now      male-pattern badness 362 new followers in the past two minutes streaming streaming buffering back hours I'll never get back      crack through Chalupa Tango Chicken Sriracha firewall encryption      male-pattern badness say load-balance the imbalance      class inequality you got me right where doesn't matter doesn't matter of fact      male-pattern badness eternal boss-battle eternal recurrence recurring      spawn and spawn again      male-pattern badness pwning God-mode sawed-off lightning bolt sing me to my end      two bullets in my clip but a hack in my heart      male-pattern badness one bullet I call gladness the other      cheesecake clambake can't you see the mess I make     brake for small animals      corporations with 10,000 or more employees      significant offshore holdings flexible cash-to-conscience fee      don't scare me      male-pattern badness my hack not whack a mole say you stole my roll I roll your stole      male-pattern badness 40 megabits and a mule and what I got here-here      the self I call self somewhere in this cloud     slick     one more click       male-pattern badness no longer supported by this device

William Lessard has writing that has appeared or is forthcoming in McSweeney's, The Brooklyn Rail, FANZINE, NPR, Prelude, FUNHOUSE, Wired, Hyperallergic, People Holding. His work has also been featured at MoMA PS1. His chapbook Rembrandt with Cell Phone has been published by Reality Beach. He was Drunk Monkeys' January Writer of the Month.