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DRUNK MONKEYS IS A Literary Magazine and Film Blog founded in 2011 featuring short stories, flash fiction, poetry, film articles, movie reviews, and more

Editor-in-chief KOLLEEN CARNEY-HOEPFNEr

managing editor

chris pruitt

founding editor matthew guerrero

Hell for Insurance Reps vs. Hell for Grocery Clerks

Mistakenly cast to a
Hell for insurance reps
where lines are neverending &
plenty o’ baggage on hand,
the absolutist’s fantasy leads head
on to a standstill pace w/everyone
holding on for a godsend or
spill that costs just as much as CPAP machines,
diabetic testing strips, or other forms of
durable medical equipment, the big DME.

He mistakes idle trash for exotic birds
w/ names he can’t pronounce,
the sound of kid fights
w/ old arguments between
adopted parental figures. He lives
in a model house of blind luck, sensitivity
training & a heightened 6th sense
whose presence is attributed to hearing loss
& basic stubbornness.

An idiot w/
this illuminated demeanor and simple
mistakes being what they are,
it’s safe to assume his sign was Aries before
all the confusion.

He has this new appreciation
for handling ultimatums as leader,
as head, as horn. He’s in the company of the
sweet angels that bless utter incompetence
w/ a charmed existence & escapes clauses
galore. He is a bold dresser w/ a penchant
for punchlines used by Richard Pryor and among his
newfound peers he’s renowned for his attention
to detail in all matters t.v. oriented. The t.v. itself
is life, is home, is sex and w/ a clammy grip on
reality, being the type who only knows the
underlying truth, conclusions about his connections
and how they’re solely in the realm of ‘taste in music’,
‘cinematic nostalgia, team affiliations, & common weekend
regalia... it’s not painfully obvious, it just hits a new level of hurt.

Always the inadvertent celebrity, his is the always vigilant
Internal metronome, a cut above the ontological color
wheel of lost boys w/ mutt epigenetic inheritance. Even in line,
w/ all the other allegations, admittedly he’s gotta
put a stop to all the brimstone monotony that really just
has this ill defining texture of egg farts & tone deaf soul.
But this shit’s transgenerational and above ground there’s
another licensed ins rep talking the benefits of
high deductible plans vs. your common indemnity,
or a grocery clerk outsourced and waiting
for his turn in the 9th ring.


In place of a promising career at a fish packing facility in Nanek, AK, Frankie Met is the author of A.P.C., The Anarchist's Blac Book of Poetry & forthcoming prose novella The Professional Donor. He is the co-founder of Kleft Jaw Press, a co-star w/ Bob Odenkirk on Better Call Saul (ok, slight exaggeration-featured extra/stand-in on the show,) & smokes hella weed. Frankie has been published in numerous online/print journals including: Kerouac's Dog Magazine, Unlikely Stories, Carcinogenic Poetry/Virgogray Press, Alt Poetics, Underground Voices, & Drunk Monkeys among others... 

Manifestations of the Force: Yoda by Andrew Pidoux

Squab by Frankie Met

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