The Master Debaters Round One: Mile-High Showdown by Gabriel Ricard

You think Mitt Romney won the debate.

I guess we were watching a different debate, but I can understand how yelling, relentless lying and interrupting people could be seen as winning or “strong.”

I totally get it.

All of those are fantastic traits to win a debate, and I guess that should mean they’re all fantastic traits to win a Presidency. That seems fair. People should be willing to overlook the fact that Mitt Romney is a hateful, bigoted, misogynistic, decadently corrupt entitlement junkie because, I mean, he just looked so darn strong in that debate!

And it’s that kind of strength that we all so desperately need right now, right? Why bother paying attention to statistics, behavior or actual quotes from the actual man? What matters is how loud, arrogant and, yeah, “strong” he can look on a televised debate. Why bother paying attention to anything else?

I say we just vote Romney into office right now. I say we should get the kind of President we seemingly deserve. Progress is for losers. Let’s get Romney behind the wheel, and let’s see where that “strength” can take us. My guess is that it’s going to be, as another lunatic put it, “a world of pure imagination.”

Who’s with me? America needs strong leadership, and that concept of strong leadership is in the form of a man who wouldn’t piss on us if we were on fire.

I get why that’s so appealing to people. At least pure, smirking evil is something they can reach out and touch, understand. Anything else is just too complex.