page contents

Horror Movies

100 WORD FILM REVIEWS
Halloween (2018)

You don't have to be a fan of the original Halloween series in order to enjoy the new sequel; you really only have to like the first one, because everything after that is disregarded. Even a couple missteps and a strange bowl of party pudding (I mean what?!) don't detract from what is a pretty solid addition to the franchise, with plenty of gory nonsense to get you excited for the spookiest season of all. Jamie Lee Curtis is a treasure. We don't have to protect her, though; she's got it under control.

100 WORD FILM REVIEWS
The First Purge

What may have begun as an interesting concept has devolved into repetitive ilk. I don’t think anyone who wanted another Purge movie, and yet people flocked out to see it this week. I don’t know which was weaker: the characters, the social commentary, or the thrills. The film explores how the Purge evolved from a social experiment on Staten Island, where participants would receive a monetary stipend for their participation. I feel the cast and crew did the same when Hollywood asked them to make this film. The film’s one redeeming quality is that it emphasizes the importance of community.

100 WORD FILM REVIEWS
Hereditary

Hereditary seems to have a huge fan base on twitter, and I'm trying very hard to figure out what movie these people saw. Taking cues from films like Rosemary's Baby and with camera tracking that establishes the hell out of every shot before getting to the story, Hereditary is two hours and six minutes of uneasy dread and creepy vague ideas that, for me, left far more questions than satisfying conclusions. And someone give Ann Dowd a role where she's not involved in some nefarious religious bullshit for God's sake. Can't she play, like, a kindly coworker?

100 WORD FILM REVIEWS
The Strangers: Prey at Night

I would tell you not to go see this movie, which is a very disappointing and unnecessary sequel to a very amazing original film, but by the time you read this it probably won't be in theaters anymore. The only thing saving it from an F is the pool scene and that's only because of the use of a Jim steinman song. Don't waste your money. Not even worth 100 words to be honest. 

100 WORD FILM REVIEWS
The Lodgers

Brian O’Malley’s (Let Us Prey) sophomore effort cements his reputation as a horror director with old school tendencies. Like Ti West’s The Innkeepers, The Lodgers relies heavily on character, deliberate pacing, and atmosphere, even though the payoff is poorly executed. Set in 1920s Ireland, twins Rachel (a standout Charlotte Vega) and Edward’s family estate is haunted by a presence which imposes three rules upon them: be in bed by midnight; never let a stranger enter; don’t try escaping, otherwise the other’s life will be endangered. Viewers demanding visceral, bloody thrills will be disappointed; others, like myself, may be briefly entranced.

100 WORD FILM REVIEWS
The Housemaid

It’s a miracle how effective The Housemaid remains after being at the mercy of Vietnam’s film censorship board. Set on a 1953 Indochina rubber plantation, a young woman named Linh is hired as a housemaid but falls in love with the owner, Captain Laurent, whose dead wife haunts the plantation. Some writing and pacing issues thankfully don’t detract from its strong acting, set design, and chilly atmosphere. Currently, director Derek Nguyen is arranging a remake set in America’s Reconstruction-Era Deep South, which will potentially feature an entire African-American cast and crew. Now that is a remake I want to see. 

100 WORD FILM REVIEWS
Winchester

Winchester commits the ultimate horror movie sin: it’s boring. So, so, so, so, so boring. I walked out at the end of the climax because I couldn’t bare to sit through any more of the film. Nothing can save it, not even Helen Mirren herself. I’m not going to talk about the movie anymore because it’s terrible and I feel asleep trying to write the synopsis. Go read about the Winchester Mystery House on Wikipedia, then watch any other Helen Mirren movie (except RED2) and pretend Winchester never happened. You’re welcome.